My dear friends, my readers, has it ever happened that in the usual humdrum of life you suddenly just disconnect and see yourself in a vacuum, as if from outside in? In that moment, you just get a perspective on your own life and situation at times. In these last three months, I too took an outside in view of my life and priorities. I disconnected from the internet to connect back to it in a refocused manner. This can happen when one faces an event which moves them. Well, for me it was the loss of my grandmother whom I really loved. I was not able to meet her due to certain factors for many years, and when I did meet her with my whole family, she was really happy and said that ‘I am so glad you came with your husband and child’. She was admitted to the hospital a week after I left and passed away silently in her sleep. In her last few hours, she spent in singing all the songs she knew from nursery rhymes to patriotic songs, before she fell asleep, she took my sons name and said repeatedly how overjoyed she was that she had met him, and closed her eyes to this world.
The poem below is not about my grandmother, it is about introspection and prioritizing.
All work done,
I wait in the stillness, with fast music behind,
and the child giggling away near the TV,
and the fan above swishing ,the lap top humming,
Some thing to inspire me? Memories?
Cursor ask questions flashing I I I I I I
I am ready,
Sitting, looking at my own paintings on the walls, with mistakes which only I can see,
The sofa and the silk cushions,
The flowers still fresh in their crystal vases,
The pretty red carpet and the bamboo lampshade hangs on, sitting in one part of the room like me,
I complete the picture, a decorative peace which fits in all around the house,
I am ready,
Who’s bell is that? No, not mine.
Who’s car is that? No, not for me.
My phone on my side with 150 contact numbers,300 facebook ‘ likes’
But no one to talk to or to listen!
‘This phone number does not exist'
The caller is busy , please stay on line’
‘All lines are busy at the moment, please call later’
Oh well, that’s enough conversation for today!
I am ready.
Ready in silence. I I I I I I
I hope you liked the poem, do let me know.